My girlfriend drives a school bus. Most of her co-workers are twice her age. Some of my friends say they are twice her weight too, but that's not been shown.

When she started work, she drove the full-size deal. On her break, she parked in front of our house. The bus dwarfed our diminutive home, but it's almost orange so it still complemented the blue wood trim on the windows. The bus made sounds that scared our cats.

Now she drives a short bus, more in line with the size of our place. She has two routes; a bad seeds one with drug huffin' toughies who still love Cocoa Puffs, and a second one with kids that have mental and physical conditions.

One of the bad seeds is the most promising 9th grade football player in the state. That's what he says and the other kids back him up. We went to see him play. He broke some of his ribs during the game. Later in the game, he got in a fight. That kid could kick my ass with his eyes closed.

- Peter Moran