My boyfriend and I live and work in his video store. It has ups and downs as far as our personal lives.

Here are some of the downs:

A) Lack of privacy as we are open from 1-11pm daily.

B) Girls are always stopping in to flirt with one of our volunteers (a slim birdy of an unintentionally charming, intelligent, laid back young man).

C) Sometimes, girls stop in to flirt with my boyfriend. They like to hug and attempt to kiss him as close to his mouth as possible instead of the cheek. I'd like to de-skull them sometimes for being so... annoying. I know they aren't me and therefore, there is a strong chance they have experienced mono or cold sores (unlike me). Therefore, they have herpes. Therefore, they should not share drinks at the shitty Wicker Park bar. Therefore, they should not kiss people on the mouth whom they haven't alerted, "Yes, I have herpes!" Therefore, they should not bring herpes into my home, touching their Mac lipglossy herpes-filled mouths, touching the covers of our herpes-free movies or petting my herpes-free cats. Perhaps I should put a "HERPES FREE! NO HERPES ALLOWED!" sign above the "NO LOITERING OR PANHANDLING!" sign. Perhaps. Perhaps-perhaps.

I hate to admit this, but yes. I spy. I peer around the corner from behind my large desk monitor or through the spaces of the shelves. Sometimes, people I know come in and I stand very still in the back, listening. "Is M here?" Unless I'm out in the open, I try to not be there. It's becoming harder to converse with people I know. Sometimes, I just stay in our bedroom and peek through the crack between the drywall and victorian scrapscreen, listening to Brian talk to them about movies. People talk to each of us quite differently. One person only talks to me about their computer problems. With Brian, it's anything else. Another with me will discuss very dark sexual issues they have or wanting to kill. With Brian, movies with young naked ladies.

It's too much sometimes.


- M