State Champion Owner/Operator

State Champion (Conversation #1)

CB'er 1: I got a big un you can throw me around in here.




CB'er 2: Hey gay guy... Different guy, where you at?
You slip me twenty five dollars I'll leave ya'll alone. I'll just turn my head. We take down your truck number right?


CB'er 3: You better leave him alone anyway he's mine, I'll whip yer ass.


CB'er 3: I'm gonna make him my little bitch. Let him spank me, me spank him.


CB'er 4: You gotta get Jesus Christ in your life.


CB'er 3: Hellfire, I'll run Jesus Christ You think he don't like blow jobs?




CB'er 2: You don't think Jesus ever had sex?


CB'er 5: I wasn't there I don't know.

CB'er 2: I can just about tell you for a fact that he did. I wasn't there but I got a good education. I learned all that in high school.


CB'er 5: Where'd you go, Central?

CB'er 2: Yeah, I went to South Central. How'd ya know?

CB'er 5: Aww, I can just tell.

CB'er 2: OK. You go to school there?

CB'er 4: Education aint gonna help you none come the Judgement.

CB'er 5: Naw, I just heard about ya'll.

CB'er 2: Hey 10-4 Yeah, we were the state champions for about five years running. I was the only guy to score five touchdowns in one game, right?

CB'er 6: I'm gonna turn you around so you won't be gay no more. I did I'm sorry. Hewww... I don't care what makes ya gay, I'm just wondering about what makes you not gay. My best friends gay, he was born that way though. That's what he says anyway. That's what I think is horseshit. But... I think we all got a choice. Like me, shit... I was a crack-head, fuck and then I chose not to do it... Messed me up.


Come back?

CB'er 6: Not anymore!


Where ya get on the road?

CB'er 6: Get outside. Get that meth lab a goin! Yeah buddy!


CB'er 2: Where ya at there different guy? I kinda like talking to you. Where you at? We ain't gonna turn you in man.


CB'er 2: Hey different guy, you out there?

CB'er 7: Yes, I'm here this is different guy, go ahead.



CB'er 2: I just decided I was gonna leave ya'll alone, right?


CB'er 1: Rub him down with hot baby oil.

CB'er 2: That might work.

CB'er 2: Hey, can I ask you a question? Hey, different guy...

CB'er 7: Yeah, I'm listening go ahead.

CB'er 2: Hey let me ask ya a question. Are you born gay or do you choose to be that way? I'm very serious. I'm really really... I'm not pulling your leg. I've always wanted to know, man sir.
Were you born that way or did you choose to be that way sir?


CB'er 2: Yeah, yeah, but what what... what makes you different man? You see what I'm saying?
Were you born different or do you choose to be different?

CB'er 7: It's probably a choice I would guess.

CB'er 2: Hey, 10-4 I've just always wanted to know that, right? Good friends different. Different strokes for different folks you know what I mean?



Owner/Operator (Conversation #2)

Trucker 1: How old are you?

Trucker 2: Twenty-two.

Trucker 1: Oh well hell!

Trucker 2: Ha Ha!

Trucker 1: So what are you up to tonight?

Trucker 2: I gotta get to bed soon, Gotta get my windshield replaced in the morning.

Trucker 1: Ahh... well what a deal.

Trucker 2: I guess, One of the negative downsides to being an owner/operator.

Trucker 1: Yeah I know. I've been there done that myself. So, What do you look like?

Trucker 2: Fat and ugly.

Trucker 1: Fat and ugly?

Trucker 2: Yeah.

Trucker 1: Well... hell...

Trucker 2: No. I haven't been able to find my self, bring my self to the ability to do something like but... ah... I'm white, six three about two hundred and seventy five so yeah I'm big but I dunno...

Trucker 1: Heh heh heh... Yeah... 10-4. You haven't been able to bring yourself to doin' anything?

Trucker 2: No, I'm one of the strict monogamist types. My father's gay, I was raised by him, and he raised me that way and... I don't know... I have one boyfriend and I can't stand sluts and I can't stand one-month relationships so I don't know...

Trucker 1: Yeah, well, I have to agree with ya there, OK. Well... shoot.

Trucker 2: Where'd that other guy go?

Trucker 1: I'm not sure.

Trucker 2: Maybe he's one of those closet cases that's under the covers and nobody else knows.

Trucker 1: Yeah... That's what it sounds like.

Trucker 2: Yeah, I apologize if I ruined your chances, over.

Trucker 1: Ah well that's ok, no big deal. What the hell... I could come over and visit with you!

Trucker 2: Not like that!

Trucker 1: Yeah, I know.

Trucker 2: How old are you anyways?

Trucker 1: Twenty-nine.

Trucker 2: You're only twenty-nine?

Trucker 1: That's right...

Trucker 2: Oh damn.

Trucker 1: Why do I sound old?

Trucker 2: You sound mature, but, all the other people I talk to out here, they're usually like forty... fifty years old. You know...

Trucker 1: Yeah, I know what you mean. I'm sort of picky myself. If you're about a thirty-four or higher I tend to just forget it you know.

Trucker 2: Yeah, I usually stick within the eighteen and twenty-five range but... I'm slowly breaking that.

Trucker 1: Yeah... I find the ones are a little bit older y'know are more experienced. It's a little more fun!

Trucker 2: Well it could be, but... like my current boyfriend he's eighteen, twink-style, so... you know... can't complain.

Trucker 1: Yeah! No doubt! I certainly wouldn't be!

Trucker 2: He just doesn't like that I'm on the road, but he doesn't want to go on the road because he has to have y'know, be social... whatever you wanna... damn gay kids do.

Trucker 1: Ha ha ha ha! Yeah... I know what you mean. I kinda miss that, myself, but oh well..

Trucker 2: So why don't you get back into it? You aren't too far out.

Trucker 1: Yeah... Well... I can't afford it you know. I can't make enough money at home doing what I prefer to be doing at home.

Trucker 2: Well see that's why do you like I do, I arrange my time at home around the nights when there's good things going on so I can go home and get out there and be social.

Trucker 1: Well yeah...Well...True.

Trucker 2: You get out to California often?

Trucker 1: Yeah... I used to. Not as much now. I just come back from Phoenix. I used to go out there all the time.

Trucker 2: There's lots to do out there if you ever get out there.

Trucker 1: Oh yeah, is that where you live at?

Trucker 2: Yep...

Trucker 1: Yeah, what a deal... I'm a Buckeye boy myself.

Trucker 2: That can't make it any easier.

Trucker 1: Naw... It sure doesn't. The bigoted-est state and it's getting worse every day.

Trucker 2: All right well... Nice talking to you, and hopefully you have better... luck... and you get something tonight. I'm gonna head off to bed.

Trucker 1: Heh.. heh... heh... yeah... well... I ain't even gonna try anymore, I'm going to run in here to the restroom, get me a cappuccino and go on down the highway I guess.


- Rob Ray