Jesus. I guess there comes a time with any type of work where you start to question yourself and what the fuck you are doing with your life. Readers might play this off and say "HEY IDIOT, you're in the SEX TRADE, of COURSE you're going to question it." But I know many different people ranging in professions from welfare queens to lawyers, and each of them question what the fuck they are doing and why. I think it is a little more common in my biz since society seems to slam it into everyone's head over and over that the sex trade is EVIL, and women who engage in it, unlike models or waitresses or trophy wives, are on a lower tier than other women. I have already gone on my tyrade about how everyone's a whore, so I will spare all from that.

There have been several times I have questioned this particular profession. Especially in the past three months since I have been completely immersed in it. I have had several nightmares about the job now. I have been on the very brink of walking the fuck out of that front door (or rather throwing a fit until I was "buzzed" out, or shot... whatever came first). Today was the first day, though where I truly could not take it.

One of my friends who worked there told me of a rather distrubing session she had with a male who wanted to verbally humiliate her. She was not ready for it and she had to stop the session and was bawling throughout the night. The man did not even know her but he managed to hit some of her soft spots and she literally collapsed. I always want a session where I get the humiliation like that, but the hours that I work sort of bring in the same people, and I haven't gotten any session like that yet. I really think I could stand it, and I think I would like it. Since I have started here I definately realize that I am NOT dominant, and that I can't take most things seriously, so I think my biggest talent is laughing at/with people and being a fluffer of sorts. I will not elaborate on that.

Today was different than most days though. I had a session with this fellow who they call "Scott Darling". The name alone sounds like something out of Andy Warhol's Factory, but this fucker is a real piece of work. I have speculated that he has some big time job somewhere because he comes in usually in the middle of the day, stays EXACTLY an hour, blows about a grand, makes sure he comes, and then he's off. He promptly puts his clothes on and gets the fuck out.

This is a bit unusual, his behaviour. You see, most men who come in there want to stay as long as possible and go way over their money's worth, but this fellow... Mr. Darling, likes to cum and go, as fast as he can. Now this bitch is totally a character. I love to speculate what his real life is, and if he acts anything like he does during the sessions. When he comes in, he acts a lot like a really super swishy flaming Stewie from The Family Guy (sorry for The Family Guy reference, but it's hontestly right on). Everything he says is EXTREMELY elongated and faggy. He breathes every word... "AAAh Yeahhh ohhhh ouuhhh sh'es a cuuuhhtie". "OOh dahhhling easy on the bahhhhhlllssss". Every sentance takes like a minute for this disgusting fuck to breathe out.

Now I have no idea why, but when I first started, the "headmistress" told me to just come in sultry like I wanted him and I followed her directions and usually I'm TERRIBLE at doing anything anyone likes, but as soon as I shoved my foot in his mouth he said in his most nauseating tone "OOOhhhhh MIhhstrehsssss where ohhh where did yhhhou get thhhis one ummmmmmm". At this point I really hoped that Mr. Scott DAhhhhhling liked being puked on because I don't think I could control my gag reflex any longer. I NEEDED to fucking vomit all over this twat.

This was just the first time he saw me. The "headmistress" (I always put this in quotes because I fucking HATE saying it or writing it) told me how much SCOTT DAHHHLING enjoyed me, and how it was so unusual for him to like new girls. So to my disgust, I would have to encounter this offensive blob several more times.

Another bizarre aspect of this fellow is that he is not the normal 70 year old two finger jagoff. He is a good looking guy, sorta like Woody Harrelson, with a cute lil gap between his two front teeth, and it it wasn't for his acting like he was constantly doing an impression of the two british drunken fasonistas from Absolutely Fabulous, he might be alright. I had to see him a second time. He speaks to the other "headmistress" as if I am not in the room. "OOOH looohhk ahht her, she's ahbsoultely gorgeous, shes RAVAGING". OH MY GOD. I FEEL LIKE I AM IN A BAD ANDY WARHOL MOVIE PLEASE GET ME THE FUCK OUT. How did I get into this, and why won't it stop....

Fortunately my encounters with this fellow were not more than fifteen minutes long, and he is not one for hanging around later, like I said (THANK GOD), he's a two pump chump, and he gets the fuck out. But today was a different story. Today I wanted to die. I'm in a goddamned dungeon and I can't find a single thing to PERMANTLY hurt myself... as in to end my life... I would have used ANYTHING. If there was a drill... I swear I would have given myself a lobotmy today.

I get there and I am still reeling from this fucking terrible breakup, which I do not even want to address. And then I hear possibly one of the worst things that could enter my brain, it's like nails on a chalkboard. Miss... Scott Darling is coming in today so get into some lingerie and get ready for him. The mere mention of his name made me vomit in my mouth. The terrible anticipation of the ooohhhssss and aaahhhhsssss and daaahhhliing and cuuhhhtiee pieee to made me vomit into my mouth a little bit, but then it turned into a full on gag into the toilet. Similar to the toilet that "Scott Darling" must have crawled out of. But it all got worse from there. I had to enter the room, and the new new girl was with him, and he liked her a lot. He, I gather, likes to be called a slut, I have no problem calling him whatever demeaning name possible. Slut is far too nice of a word to call him, but I refer to him as such anyway. This monstrosity has this terrible ego and does the same thing each time. He gets three girls, and then takes one and plays with them and then really apishly throws them to the side and grabs the next girl and then says some stupid shit to her and then throws her to the side and grabs the next girl and constantly does this his whole session. You can tell he gets off on the fact that he THINKS that he's really turning the tables on the whores who dominate men. He likes to demonstrate his power while wearing panties and being a little bitch. He, of course does have the power because he is paying, but this man is just sick. And from what I see there, I mean I see some very "sick" terribly disturbing stuff, but I don't think hardly any of these men are "sick" per se. They just have a fetish. This one is an absolutely foul subhuman turd.

I was supposed like tease his ass with some little vibrator thing. Because this man is so terrible, this is totally unheard of, and he's making me increasingly sicker I just take the fucking thing and shove it up his asshole as hard as I can. He jumps up and says, "EASY EASY EASY.".. and then the "headmistress" quickly grabs the thing out of my hands and gives me the death eye and tells me to start sucking on his nipples. Oh god. I want to die. I get down and start biting. I want to hurt this fucking stupid faggot for calling me a bitch. I bite down as hard as I can and he instantly jumps up and disturbs the whole 4 person scene for a second time. "EASY!" he says. I get very doe eyed and say in my most ironicly polite voice, "I'm sorry you can't take it slut." This little bitch pushes my head back down to his chest and this time I get a chest hair in my mouth. This time I actually DO gag....


From this point on.... there are two endings to the story. First there is what actually happened... second is what my fantasy is of what SHOULD have happened in a perfect world.
First, the real ending:


I gag on his chesthair and it is just so fucking sick the whole room starts spinning and i completely forget where I am. He finally asks me specifically to leave and I am so happy. I am extremely disoriented at this point and flashes of everything that is happening is spinning in my head. I go up to the third floor where there is no one thank god, and I realize that I HAVE to leave. Immediately. But the terrible thing is that I am locked in there. I cannot leave without someone buzzing me out. How the fuck will I get out. I then start to feel really trapped and start hyperventilating and have a horrible panic attack. Everywhere I could possibly go is a dungeon room with fucking whips and strechers and cages and there is no safe place to go. Everything is so scary all of a sudden. I feel like I am in a nightmare. I instantly take some xanax to calm myself and am praying it works soon. I am wondering if I should just start banging on the front door and yelling to people to let me out. I REALLY don't know what to do. Plus I KNOW that I will have to deal with getting in shitloads of trouble for fucking with that retard and shoving the thing up his ass as well as nearly biting his nipple off. I just don't want to deal with it. I just sit and stare for what seems like ten minutes but is actually an hour that goes by and I calm down a bit. I am called down to get into trouble but I just explain that I thought that he liked rough stuff. I guess they were able to get him going again after I was out of the room trying to maim him whatever way possible. It was horrible and almost my last day.

I was just glad that I ENSURED that I will never have to see this horrible DARLING again. WHAT A JIZZBAG.!!!


Now the fantasy ending:
I gag on his chest hair and I puke all over him. Since all I have eaten is methadone and cocacola and Coffee it is mostly bile, but a bunch of brown chunks.... (This part is not my fantasy... Scott Darling is actually in real life a germophobe) .

There is fucking puke EVERYWHERE. He starts to scream just like the little girl that he is. I quickly take my top off and start rubbing my bare tits all over his hairy chest all the while getting the bile chunks stuck in his forest of chesthair. "OH MY... OH FUCK.. OOOHHH LORD PLEASE STOP"...Scott can barely speak. He can only fucking whimper in his faggy little sissy voice. He has never experienced anything like this in his life.... I pull the condom off of my strapon and puke another gallon in it until it's filled like a huge water balloon. I don't tie it though. Little Darling knows just where this puke is going. He closes his mouth, but I hold his nose until its open. As soon as I get it opened I dump all puke in until he is gagging and cannot talk anymore. He looks sooo terrified.

The headmistress is terrified as well. It looks as if I've finally gone crazy. They always knew I had it in me, but it was only a matter of time. And this Scott Darling piece of human shit was the one to bring me to these means. I then take him and the headmistress, and my coworker friend of mine and I tie them to the toilet in the bathroom. Since virtually every girl who works in the Dungeon HATES Scott Darling, and most of them can't stand this particular headmistress we all take turns shitting all over them.

Now I have already told you in real life Scott Darling is a germophobe so this would be his worst nightmare. But in real life this headmistress was in the military for years and she is a real life sadistic crazy bitch. I've watched her whip the shit out of men and she gets soooo turned on. She's told me she was a saidst and could NEVER even play a sub. She said she tried once and it fucked her up for a really long time and she has to be dominant in EVERY situation. So ANYONE having control over her would be totally devistating.

They would be covered in shit and which would be devistating to both of them and then we would put them on leashes and put pony bits in their mouths and we have these two amazing butt plugs with curly pig tails at the end me and my girlfriend who I work with would ride down Michigan Avenue on their shit covered pony pig backs while the sun sets. We then hi-five each other and I take the two naked shit covered pony pigs into my neighborhood and drop them off on the corner. I live in a really bad neighborhood so who knows what happens to the pussy fag and the sadistic crazy. Something bad. And then my friend and I go back to my house and start a lezzie relationship where we get the clients we have to come to my house and pay us to humiliate them and then we rob each of them but they keep coming back and giving us all of their money. And we happily ever after and have hot lezzie sex 20 hours a day.


- Meg McCarville