Houses and Pets

This bustling shithole. where my roommate has a tampon collection of mine which im not supposed to know about and drunken prostitutes are brought in with men who steal computers. my roommate walks around in his briefs while my other roommate in desperation to not see him in his briefs turns the air down to under 50 degrees. so i wake up in an arctic fucking tundra everyday and i still see my roommate prancing around in his briefs. Where the sounds of smoking crack are so often heard. the uggh phhfoooo uggh huhh it sounds like fucking a dying horse. and then the coughs. the sounds of death the hocking the coughing, at least he's nicer after he smokes it. for about 15 minutes. then he turns into a raging asshole who steals from me and throws me into ashtrays. its always fun to have bruises that you cant explain. i walk into my front room to find people that look dead with cigarettes that had been lit and then not smoked and the ash is about 5 inches long. with their fucking heads down. a bootleg version of snakes on a plane blasts from the television. you hear the movie then you hear people yelling WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE FUCKING SNAKES. in between the disgusting sounds of sucking and coughing up crack. the junkie lights another cigarette and then passes out. i watch it wither down until it burns his fingers and he throws it out. and then lights another one. what the fuck am i doing here? I think I'm addicted to these living situations. In order to find a fork the house has to be thoroughly searched until in the dingiest corner of the house a fork sits and then it has to be scrubbed to eat. If I wasnt on enough methadone to kill a man each day, this stuff might bother me. but its fine. i especially love when my stuff gets stolen. thats always fun. i get to yell at everyone and then throw books at peoples heads, because thats the only way i know how to fight... to throw books and shoes. and then of course living with three male roommates, they dont hesitate to make a hole in the wall with me. domestic violence is fun. ive managed to be drunk and fuck almost every male roommate ive ever had. i live with 3 males now. i dated one for about 5 years, the other one i had sex with several times, and the third one claims that we had sex, but i don't believe we did and he's the one thats obsessed with me and i believe collects my feminine products. its all so endearing. meanwhile i sit here on the computer typing out peoples deepest darkest secrets and sharing them with the world. it's really horrible. but besides the methadone and xanax abuse, writing about this shit is the only way to cope. its unreal. sex was an escape for awhile. crack stupor rape isnt exactly rape is it? A question for the ages. Outside my window, shorties on shared and coveted tricycles wheeling out of one of the two staunchly occupied worthlessly empty concentration camp hovels. kids on kids on young adults on adults on geriatrics simmering on one single blanded and burned gluey mind.

How do you get a cat addicted to drugs? I have had so many pets addicted to drugs its not even funny. There was one cat in particular. My friend had afterhours for raves about ten years back and everyone would get all fucked up and drop their coke all over the floor, and pills of ecstasy and whatever you can think of, and this cat would eat it all. he was a total drug addict. people would think this behavior was abhorable, but my friend was so proud that his cat was a drug vacuum cleaner. this same fuck used to put my little bunny in a box and blow crack smoke into it. i dont like that shit. my poor little bunny. this man should be put away for sure. The poor thing grew a tumor and then some fuckhead dyed it purple. There were two cats there too, no one would buy them food. My roommate would steal hot dogs for the cats and the cats would be eating the hotdogs and this poor rabbit was so hungry that it would bumrush the fucking cats to get to the hotdogs, so not only was the rabbit a crackhead, but it was carnivorous. I once had a wonderful cat who looked just like sara jessica parker, but one day it got real horny so i let it out to go fuck this cat cuz the noises it was making were driving me fucking insane and it left, ran away with its boyfriend.


- Meg McCarville