Pet Peeves at Concerts

Venues that charge $100 to sit at a table because River Phoenix died on the sidewalk outside.

Bands who have to say what each and every song is about. (Metal bands, I'm looking at you.) "This next song is about---getting EATEN ALIVE by a SHARK!"

Friends yelling in your ear during a song (just bring me the beer, a large one, we can talk later)

People who never stop walking around within the crowded audience. Especially the guys who feel they need to use force to get through the crowd (cocktail waitresses are exempt).

Getting felt up by strange dudes.

People standing close to the stage and having conversations the entire show need to die.

People who attend shows solely to talk at the bar in the back (particularly when a relatively quiet band is playing) also need to stay the fuck home.

People who want to stand right at the front, yet also believe they should have ample personal space. Sorry, it doesn't work that way.

White people.

People in the crowd who have unbelievably bad body odor. I can deal with the stench of a moderately sweaty crowd - I've been going to club shows for 20 years now. I'm talking about the people who smell like they haven't showered in several weeks. Get the fuck away from me, scumbag.

The tall guy standing up front who is seemingly nice enough to let you stand in front of him, and then spends the rest of the show banging his dick up against your back.

People who insist on wearing backpacks at shows. Particularly when standing near the stage.

When the music between bands is as loud or sometimes seemingly louder than the bands.

Song requests. I can deal with one or two but when it's the same drunk asshole screaming the same song out in between each and every song it grates my nerves.

The drunk guy who tries starting inappropriate mosh pits. Dude, I know Take 5’s a great song, but even Dave Brubeck’s getting pissed.

When people bring their infant children to shows and let them crowd surf and the baby has a full diaper.

Restrooms with attendants-"I can get my own paper towels, thanks."

Expensive ass beer. Seriously, I'm not paying $12 for a 24 oz can of Coors light.

Guys: if you need to get by me, it is not necessary to put your arm around me to do that. If you need to get by a dude, what do you do? Tap his shoulder? Whatever it is, I'm sure it does not involve coming behind and putting an arm around his waist or whatever.

The no in-and-out rule really blows - I need a mid-show smoke.

“I’m on the list” guy (the one who isn't actually on the list but insists he is, gets all huffy at the doorman, then makes five cell phone calls trying to get hold of Slash or whoever while you’re standing behind him) is also an asshole.

People who bring their dogs to shows.

ˆThe worst is when it's a seeing eye dog for a really tall blind dude and the dog guides the owner to the front where he blocks the view of everyone who actually can see the band. Fucking assholes.

I'm 5'8" in heels & I appreciate it when you step back, but if you are front & center, I wouldn't say a word. You got as much right to rock out to your band as anyone else. It's not your fault. It's my dad's fault for marrying a woman who's 4'11".

I hate it when I let a shorter girl stand in front of me, spend the whole show massaging her back with my crotch and she doesn't even have the courtesy to say thank you or give me her number.

I like to have a lot of space, and also some sun and food and a nice bathroom and a chair and a fan and nobody looking at me.

People on too many mushrooms playing with pork sandwiches.

People who fart at shows.

Water/piss/sewage/god knows what on the bathroom floor.

The people who stand in front of me and spend all of their time posing for their cell phones cams/digital cameras rather than even watching the show, all the while shooting the flash off in my face.

Moshing, throwing stuff at the stage, tossing beer over everyone and yelling inane comments at the stage between songs all border on retarded - some in Gump area and some are full-on Corky from Life Goes On retarded.

Anyone hovering at the bar after they've been served while you're still standing behind them being obstructed from the bartender's view.

People who shake my hand and squeeze it like a vice. A firm handshake goes a long way, but this is fucking rediculous. You DO realize that I NEED the bone structure of my hands to be intact so I can play more shows? Asshole.

"FREEBIRD!"

When I get my car back from valet parking at the live music establishment and the valet has changed the positioning of my seat as well as my preferred radio station presents.

People sleeping at shows.

Drunk girls that pretend to be lesbians.

 

- Compiled from posts in the General Discussion forum on www.stonerrock.com