Once when I was a kid we stayed at a cheap resort in Southern Illinois that featured two carp ponds and a small lake. They had very nice cabins, which came with a rowboat. The family in the next cabin over had a small dog, a chihuahua, and I commented to my dad that the dog was mean. Assuming that I was afraid of the dog he told us a story about when he was in the navy and the ship he was on had a monkey aboard that was the pet or mascot of the crew. The monkeys name was Chi Chi I think, and he explained that you had to show it who was boss, because it was mean and would bite. End of discussion. Wait, the monkey fell overboard.
So the next time I was out the dog started barking and I picked up an oar and menaced the dog with it, the dog attacked immediately, I dropped the oar and ran, dog at my heels, for a very far distance, had to jump a fence, could hear my dad laughing his ass off the whole way, like it was the funniest thing he had ever seen. I can still see him laughing, holding his stomach.