4 things



I once found a chunk of a tooth at the bottom of a swimming pool. We were having a distance contest, who could dive the farthest off the diving board. A friend of mine went off and ran from the neighbor's yard and hit the dive at full tilt. He did go the farthest but he also hit the bottom of the pool teeth first. He emerged from the water with a mouth full of blood and gaps where his teeth used to be. After a good laugh, we started looking for the missing teeth. I found a chunk of one and they were able to reconstruct his front teeth perfectly.

- Randy Wilson






I found this last May in a beige lumpy carpet. The kind of carpet that reminds me of a ski lodge. Although I've never actually been in a ski lodge. Some kids that lived around the corner had been doing tumbling tricks there earlier. But a lot of other people had been through the room as well. I was there with my sister in law and her kids had just sat down on the floor. She thought it was hilarious. I was a bit embarrassed which was weird as it wasn't my tooth.

- Melinda Fries




This is kenneth's mouth. Kenneth's old teeth were a sorry lot. The oral surgeon took one look at those pathetic mandibles and pulled the whole lot. He carefully slit the gums open, peeled them back, pulled the remaining depraved teeth, inserted new falsies, then stitched it all back up. Now kenneth flashes his newandimproved jaws of substance in pilsen. Note their stately arrangement.



I spent this christmas eve at a bar in jackson, mississippi. I played craps with kenneth who was sitting on my right. At one point a drunken skinny old guy with a thin grey ponytail sat down to my left. He must have been feeling the christmas spirit because he gently took my left hand and held it for about 15 seconds. Then he took out his false teeth and put them in front of my drink. About 3 seconds later his head clonked on the bar. Passed out. His teeth were missing a tooth.

- Deborah Stratman