Usually when I fall in love I find a way to run away. Sixteen years ago I told a lie to someone that said another someone told me something about that someone... Or rather, I made something up to righteously incriminate the one who, I will fool heartedly say, put me in a state of vengeful rage. I also told the lie to watch someone else, whom I liked very much, react to what I said was said. So, Uhhhhh.....I told a man named Antonio that my loony roommate K. told me that he (Antonio) told her (K.) that he slept with L. (another of my roommates)... I lied to insure that A. was aware that K. could, and would, lie about anything for attention. This somehow would make me feel less crazy myself (because, of course I was in love. you know...! But as soon as it left my lips I was certain then that I was crazy! (He knew this of K. all ready). True she was a lying loony... But, I never actually caught her in a clearly marked lie, I only sensed her great capacity for cruelty and deceit. I sensed this like it was a hack saw in my back but I didn't trust myself, didn't trust my own feelings. All I could do was lie. And leave the city soon after. I left feeling very cruel and deceitful. Antonio was very sympathetic toward me, but of course it was based upon a lie. I did not get what I wanted, and though in fact he did like me quite a lot, I did not trust this either. Sigh.


- Virginia M