Here's some lies I compiled from friends.

Take care,


I was at a party. My mission was to steal some Philly's Blunts to roll a joint.
I was hungry so I stole kimchee and hot dogs instead.

When I got back to the party, my friends were like "Where's the Philly's Blunts? Where's the Philly's Blunts?"
I said I got caught and a security guard chased me out the store.

My girlfriend had wanted to see this movie for months and months. Some stupid comedy movie. Finally we both had the day off and were laying in bed together.
I told her I'd go rent it.
So I get to the video store. They had the movie but I didn't want to see it.
I rented another movie. I told my girlfriend the movie was already checked out.
"They really didn't have it? Are you lying to me?"
"No", I answered and went to sleep.

Switch 1


I don't have two bachelor's degrees - I've told this to everybody, but I really have two.
I tell this lie so people don't think I'm a rich white boy.

Dave Wang


I was stoned at work. I had a hard time doing simple tasks.
My supervisor called me into his office and I thought I was in trouble.
He offered me a promotion.
I had to tell him I wasn't feeling well when he asked what was wrong.
I remember the wall behind him seemed to move.



I do market research for Hollywood movies. I get paid by the survey. The work is verified.
So I create fake voicemails online. My friends cover for me. My mom pretends she has a bunch of toddlers to fit a demographic. Everyone gains imaginary roommates who've also done surveys.
I've been caught several times but they still haven't fired me.

I've lied about the # of sexual partners I've had.

I've acted sick or tired to end a conversation, especially if I felt nervous or bored.

I've claimed to be a college grad to get jobs.

I bought candy and chocolate with my lunch money for a year.

I've told a girlfriend there wasn't anyone else.