Random nonsensical notes written on the Megabus from St Louis

Drinking and smoking. You can't be universally sociable while smoking but drinking is inherently social and is the social lube of choice. Smoke is disgusting. Drinks can be tasty and there's really something for everyone. Look harder and drink more.

Why do I always end up drawing myself. (Written on a note with sketches on it. Bad sketches. "My name is" with a box on top of it)

I think I can deal with stress. With Pressure. (Yes, even pressure with a capital p). People peering down on me-I do ok. I don't crack. But I don't thrive on it. What are the strengths that aren't ones that I "built" up and are inherently in my "nature"? Things that really come easily to me. Making people laugh. Abundance of awkwardness. Honesty. Highly skilled at making up nonsense. Open-mindedness. Intelligence and moral stamina. Clear-headed thinking and decision making. Love kids. Care less about what people think of me. Appreciate beauty. Love of good design (and understand it and how it works). What are the questions friends don't ask? Things they are too polite to say? I assume I am more talented than I think I am, which in fact, is a good to great place to be if you're a struggling artist.

If you are weren't a struggling artist what would you be? Shut yo face! You motherfucker! No, but seriously, a struggling artist is useful in many concrete ways. Struggling pushes you to make meaningful work because you're not making lame pieces in your "free time". You do it because you mean it. Moving and verticality. Things that move and things that you construct that go up. Air? Buffeting of air. Why is pristine and clean the ideal? Why is new good? What is good about new?

Virgin Aesthetics. Untouched by another owner. Unsullied, clean. Not unknowingly violated by some "other". Is not knowing the deal-breaker? "Driven by my grandmother, only highway miles." What if you knew the grandmother's name and had her cell phone number. Would you call her to verify said driving record? Trust but verify. No. No. No. Trust means trust. Verify indicates lack of integrity. Same attitude that some have with religion. It's called leap of faith for the leap part, which does not include verifiable data. In fact, it's somewhat more of a leap to trust scientists and doctors, who we assume are qualified and unbiased. What fools we are.

Entertainment. Distracting you from yourself, your reality. Reality TV that distracts you with other peoples' reality that you can gawk at and gossip about. Traveling is not about the journey anymore. It's the destination, stupid. How you get there is meaningless. Cancelled flights are a huge pain because you can't get to where you want to be. So that means in the meantime, you need to act like an asshole and ruin your day while you bitch at the customer service personnel. Doing that because you think it's funny is way better than doing it because you're an asshole. Ask your friends if you're an asshole. Ask the ones that are honest with you, the ones who will tell you you're an asshole. But maybe you don't have those kinds of friends anymore, you asshole.


- Justin Goh