12/06/07 - Fred Armisen's Daytime Show
There weren't a lot of people at first (enough for a studio but not to fill a coliseum) and the producers were telling him to keep improvising for the crowd, that they were working on bringing in people. He was running around like crazy trying to keep things going, trying to hide being pissed off, saw me and mumbled something about it, I guess a lack of proper everything on their part but I just nodded because I didn't want to piss him off further by asking, "Huh?" I felt so bad.
Hundreds of people started filing in. There was seat-grabbing mayhem. They were all obnoxious tourists with huge families, old ladies with shopping bags. Apparently, the producers went outside telling people that there's a new daytime show, that people would be on TV and also offered people cookies to attend. I didn't see any cookies.
Then I woke up because I was freezing and tried in vain to get back to sleep again so I could see the show but nope.
12/06/07 - Making out with Conan O'Brien
You're probably thinking, "How is this a make out dream?" Well. Just never-mind that.
Then this flaming gay guy jumped out of nowhere, pushed me aside and THEY started to get it on, I grabbed the guy and threw him across the room and went leaping back into Conan's arms.
I woke up kind of angry about this.
* * * * *
There was a math class in another, much larger theater and the class was very popular among comedians. My friend, Mary Grace, and I went but apparently a little late because when we opened the doors, everyone went silent and the teacher - on the stage with her projector and looking up in our direction - wouldn't say a word until we were settled. Some guy mouthed to us, "GO SIT!" There were a lot of well known comedians (a good portion with their math books up to hide that they were reading comic books - Leo Allen and Todd Barry were trading books) and Fred Armisen was passing out homework assignments and kissing up to the teacher. He wasĘ being really snotty to everyone. I couldn't understand the math, felt bad but it seemed everyone was faking paying attention. Then my cell went off though I didn't realize I even had it, the place went silent, I got dirty looks and left.
Later, I ran into John Malkovich. There was a lot of verbal flirting but all of our dialogue was made up of lines from his movies. The denouement was when I broke character, pressed the side of my head to his butt, did an impression of Ricky Gervais but insinuating that Malkovich was a mole on my face and that's why I hadn't crossed over to American tv, because executives told me the mole was obnoxious. John loved it and we parted ways.
* * * * *
I stabbed her. She looked at me, shocked, like, "How dare you?" But then she also smirked. I stabbed her again. And again. She just stood there, bleeding.
I decided to leave and she said I wouldn't get away with it. I ran down the stairs and she chased after me, slowly, sloppily and still bleeding. I ran across a parking lot, wondering what my brain had in store for me next. Running through an alley, I noticed an open garage door, crawled inside, shut it and wedged myself against a wall inside a shallow pit where the concrete was broken. Above me on the opposite wall, I saw the silhouette of a cop's head peering into the window with an alley light behind him. Do I stay or get up?
I decided to turn myself in. I stood up and I awoke.
* * * * *
And then I remember ... the sky was bright orange, pink, and there were these animals, maybe a lion, a pony or unicorn, I don't know but they flew around and that was probably a different dream. I hope to God it was a different dream because that's too weird.
Then my dream ended.
* * * * *
* * * * *
1. My boyfriend Brian lived in a 1 level house (50s furniture, a mish mash of uncoordinated fabrics, the outside was painted a mint green) with a couple of artsy chicks, the place was a little cluttered with knick-knacks and plants. We were taking a nap when my first ex showed up out of the blue. He kept trying to take a nap with us and putting blame on me for his attitude.
2. I was sitting outside with a group around the corner from the house at a small college. Everybody was talking about how cool the teacher was. We went into class, I pretended to belong there. The teacher was attractive. And he was teaching sex ed. I said, "I don't think my name is on your roster, actually." It wasn't. "OOPS!" and left.
3. A lot of boutiques stores and cafes with untarnished old architecture from the 40s. I went shopping with a couple of pals. The first place, I'm certain I've been to before in a dream. They let people check out porn magazines for a buck, up to 8 'zines and read them in their outdoor cafe area. They also sold a lot of leather goods - mainly jackets with flames on them, biker boots, etc. And the porn magazines were either very blurry or normal pictures so there really wasn't any content.
4. I went to a boutique around the corner that dealt in swank women's shoes, nothing plain, nothing trendy, just really lovely shoes. There were a couple of boxes outside with some purses and shoes for the taking from one of the tenants of the building who happened to be a woman I used to work for at another ad agency. It seemed she had an awesome shoe collection BUT only left the right shoes in in the boxes. No lefties. Why? She lost 'em. I grabbed a couple of small purses. Inside one were couple of make-up items and ... (baffled) some sort of hair waxing product for a woman's crotch in frilly packaging. The back said something about being out on a date and needing to "clean up" quick. Whatever.
5. I went looking around the area for more stores when a line of animals (reminding me of the Noah's Ark) shot out from some street to my left, curving over in front of me. Tigers, bears, birds, sheep, camels, emus, EVERYTHING that could walk on land! I freaked, took an immediate right, ran down a street. A noise behind me. Two camels and en emu! I pressed myself against a building to my right and a damn camel squashed me. It hurt. They took off. Pit bulls were part of this procession gone willy-nilly along with bulldogs. They were grabbing little kids, flinging them around. Birds were picking up items and flying, dropping the items into other yards. At one point, I was able to fly myself! Oh how I missed that! What was this mess? There were a couple of guys who owned some mini-zoo in the area and once in a while, they let the animals run all over the place for exercise.
6. Different area. Seemed like it was near a highway but it was a popular club for weird music. I was supposed to be in a "band" with a few guys but when we got to the club and it was all screwed up. I basically sat in a chair all night drawing in a sketchpad. The staff was very strict about EVERYTHING. You couldn't leave anything sitting out. Items had to be on your person constantly. Even the audience was strict about keeping an eye out. Some half-assed group went up playing "electro" crap while spinning balloon lights (they were filled with water, had lights inside and left huge tracers). Everybody seemed on edge yet social but we were sore thumbs. Nobody knew us. Nobody talked to us and we found it impossible to talk to anybody but a few club workers and roadies. Afterwards, we were the last band to leave and the place was cleaning up, getting ready to become some high-brow restaurant. The manager was a very snooty lady with her hair in a bun, everybody was wearing tuxedos and she told me she managed the club and restaurant times. "Oh yes, I'm familiar with Chicago and all those stupid bands ripping off our artists, trying to be like us and places like that Rainbo." I had nothing more to ask her about. I just wanted to leave. It was a bit too claustrophobic for me.
* * * * *
Not the most exciting thing but I woke up pretty miffed about this... my first ex had some "intimate" footage of me that he was exploiting online and the screwy thing was that it wasn't anything that ever happened in real life or in the dream; it was fake but it WAS me! I don't know how it happened but I was pissed off. The footage was of him, me and some other woman, the rest I can't remember - I was nauseated. Throughout the dream, I was chasing him down and threatening him but he kept scoffing about it like it was no big deal. His old scummy junkie pals laughed at me. I tried in vain to get a lawyer after him but couldn't find one.
I dreamt that I was introduced to Steve Albini and later that day, he was picking me up to go to a little bar for some live music. He came over and my room was carnation pink, a ton of clothes everywhere and had a water closet. Also, my cat, Ian, was wearing pants. Anyway, Steve was in my room and went into the water closet (no door, though, it was behind the wall) and said, "OOOOH! I'm makin' a stinker!" I pulled my hood over tight and said, "Let's get the hell out of here before the place blooooows!" He jumped out, and we went to the bar. And my cat started talking about something but I don't remember what.
I was freaked out because the idea that the day I would see my 'permanent record' (p. 108 of the Oct-03 Smithsonian 'zine - an article about a writer on his quest to seek his "permanent record" and found it! Yes, they exist and YES they are kept FOREVER) would be a sign of my death, that I would die the next day and suddenly, I had it. And my friends were reading it as we went to the beach and hung out at some place. There was a girl in our vacation house who worked at a 7-11 but she was trying to make decaf coffee and acting in denial of having caffeinated coffee and the proper machine equipment. I tried showing her but then I added banana to the grains and every time I looked back down, something would be added, the mix would be different, with not only the banana but with avocado chunks, refried beans and way more coffee and I just couldn't get it right. It was very confusing. My friends kept looking at my record book, laughing at memories and things I had done through school and they were adding things but losing pages at the same time. We ran into my parents who possessed some lewd (and non-existant in real life!) pictures of me and put those in it. Then they were gone. I went to use the bathroom but our place was in a log cabin camping area though our place was modern and it was a community bathroom thing. There were big buff drunken guys everywhere as I was trying to go. They were nice and funny and eventually, I got to go but I knew. The next day, I would die a painful death and I couldn't stop it.
Things like this make me wish I didn't live alone...
I'm having nightmares. In one sequence, I'm in a bed, the room is lid in blue and there are many voices coming from different directions so I start reciting prayers loudly in my head but I goof up and they start all over again. I can feel my body sliding towards the headboard, the room is cool, my body feels like it's rising. It's my screaming thoughts vs. these voices.
The other sequence has to do with people constantly pulling me to do horrible things. One drunk fat kid dragged me kicking and screaming to a pool and I drowned him. He had something the size of a golf ball underneath the skin of his skull. I pushed his head under because he wouldn't let go of me and I didn't want to drown. I pushed his head under with one hand and pinched him really hard with the other hand so he would be in pain, open his mouth and take in water.
The last part had to do with drug use and this guy was like a spirit showing me horrible things that could happen to me, kept yanking me around but we were almost floating. We were in a dark club and he was dragging me from outside to the back but I knew it was going to be bad and I said I didn't want to go. "It's okay, I won't even see you do cocaine. Just do it." "No, I don't want to go!" I turned to run and everything slowed down. I was trying to move but the air felt thick, everything in slow motion and everybody turned to look at me... I wasn't even touching the ground. I felt him about to grab me again. I woke up in a panic.
I was living in a very nice 3rd floor apartment and was in my bathroom getting ready for bed when I heard a man yelling. Out of the window, I saw a tall, skinny black man on a terrace across the way screaming. His hair was long but sticking up and his eyes were very angry. He wielded a machine gun. I turned off the lights but it was too late. He looked directly at me and started shooting at my window. The bullets did not penetrate the glass but I crouched down, crawled to the hallway, grabbed the phone and frantically called 911. Instead, the number went to a co-worker and I couldn't get through. I ran to my kitchen door and saw that there was a party on the first floor deck. I tried calling 911 again to no avail. It seemed I might be able to escape by running downstairs and telling the people at the party that we had to leave, that there was a crazy guy on the loose but as I was about to do that, he had made his way down there already. Women were screaming and running, a few men had tried to grab him but he broke a large bottle and stabbed them. He saw me looking out from my door and whipped the bottle all the way up to my door. It smashed where my head would have been. He was coming for me. I collapsed.
I woke up panicked then couldn't sleep for at least the next hour.
I was traveling with a co-worker and some people... I think it was a school bus and in the dream she was a teacher. We were on some field trip to an reoccurring area in my dreams, a nice countryside area with a big pond and nice flowers, etc. But I got off the bus and decided to walk. There were some loud bangs in the distance, explosions. I saw planes zipping around and there were massive pillars of fire everywhere. Apparently, the war with Iraq took a new turn. I ran down a dirt road and a couple of cars came out of nowhere with people who appeared to look Caucasian (I could see parts of their face, the sense being they were American and unhappy with our government) jumping out wearing bright orange suits and gas masks. They held large tubes, put them on the ground and set off the fire pillar causing bombs. And they weilded automatic rifles. I didn't know what to do. If they saw me, that's it. Suddenly, I realized I was wearing some sort of mask thing and I took it off so they could see me and maybe they would spare me because I'm small, weaponless and no threat and maybe I should start yelling things that I'm on their side, anything to keep from getting my brains blown out. I kept thinking about our soldiers dying and had these images in my brain of gunshot victims. Everyone was scrambling. I ran towards a forest but it went up in flames. I tried to run near a bridge but a wall of fire came between us. There was nowhere to go. I just kept running and changing direction like a damn fruitfly.
Hopefully, they'll go away if I talk about them. The latest cast of morphing characters in my head have been around for a little while, I just keep forgetting about them. It's an odd assortment of people in various ages. There's a guy who is kind of a hick and won't leave me alone. I think he's supposed to be my boyfriend. There are two females in real life and they are in the dream. But they always antagonize me and turn into old ladies, one of them has disfigured eyes when she is old. Her eyes are similar to my hick boyfriend's, too. Generally, these people are always chasing after me for something I don't know, grabbing me, yelling at me, pushing me around. I live in a small room with a bed, a small refrigerator and that's pretty much it unless something happens, what I need is created. What I usually end up needing are tools for violence. These dreams are VERY violent and I always end up attacking these people. Locking them out, then they break the glass of the small window in my room's door and stick their heads through so I hit them with a trash can. No matter how much I hurt them, they're there, antagonizing me incessantly, morphing and lying to me, trying to trick me into thinking they are real. And then there is ALWAYS someone in a furry costume who attacks me from out of nowhere. I always turn and scream, "NO!" then whammo! We're wrestling on the ground and furry person smothers me.
They refuse to let me wake up and they taunt and hit me. And I hate them.
Merlot has strange effects: I was at Bjork's (the singer) house (it was nice, small, colorful), chatting with her boyfriend. I had to use the bathroom but was waiting for Bjork to get out. Finally, I got in and the toilet was plugged with the strangest looking crap ever! Bjork expunged this salad plate size purple shell thing that was flat on the bottom and open, jagged, on top. Inside were these meatball looking things (poop?) that had herbs and spices sticking out. It took a while but I finally got it to flush.
I was in some version of Wicker Park that I've dreamt about before, cleaner, not so trendy. There was some confusion regarding a relationship so I decided I would see this psychic/fortune teller who's storefront always seems to tempt me but I never felt a full need to go in.
The front of the big house had two doors on each side so I wasn't sure which one to pick. The names on the buzzer were clear, a mix of caucasian and Asian names in each household, a "For Rent" sign explaining that the down payment for the vacant apartment came out to $1050 because if you want, a portion of that money goes towards a bottomless glass at a bar connected to the house, and a bar that is already IN the house (and they had so many strange, mystical sounding names for the liquor, a lot of "Dragon" stuff) that is only for the tenants.
The left door allowed me to see through a sheer purple drape... some new age stuff was in the distance and what appeared to be a person on a table covered in a mound of wax.
I rang the bell, the lady showed up... didn't look as mystical as I'd hoped as she had fading blonde/grey hair, wore baggy hippie clothes, etc. The downstairs looked modern, a lot of triangular and spherical art, good-luck Asian plants, stones, candles, etc. Upstairs, her husband was washing their daughter in a tub and there was a mildewy scent, it didn't look very clean.
She kept beating around the bush in providing me guidance, finding other things to talk about, being silly. Some trendy-punk girl showed up, handed the lady $20, placed some shiny platforms near the husband, sat in a chair and said, "here boy!" He was on all fours, grinned like an idiot at seeing the shoes, went to sniff her feet but she said, "UH UH! That's it!" "That's all?" "That's $20! All I want." I have no idea... anyway, as I was pushing the lady to provide guidance, the trendy-punk girl started hitting on me and suddenly, she became my 2nd X... but still wearing the make-up and girly punk clothes. Bleh!
Somehow I ended up taking some weird test that made me feel like I was in a video game and I can't exactly explain it. It had to do with being in a dark area, getting from point a to point b and picking up objects along the way while getting past people who were acting as roadblocks and trying to prevent me from getting to point b.
After that... can't quite recall but I never did get any psychic advice, darn it.
I had a penis and it wasn't a sexual dream. I found the appendage to be quite convenient when having to pee but my aim was horribly off and I pissed everywhere, all over the toilet, on the wall. Much enjoyment came from this, "I can piss on ANYTHING!"
Last night I was sort of hoping that my dream would foretell a future whether career or romantic, whatever and this is what I got:
(it happened like a movie, meaning, I wasn't in my body but watching this)
A kind of tall, more on the stronger side, olive-skinned Euro-lookin' guy who was at times overly affectionate in public. We went for food and weren't doing anything all that exciting but seemed to get along well.
Later, we ended up at a school and somehow chaperoned a bunch of little kids to some wooded park with an informational UFO theme, lectures, etc., then a UFO door opened and a bunch of wacky people in it came out (had a feeling they're the pro-cloning wackos in the news). We gathered the kids and were trying to get out of there because they started up the UFO and it was heading our way.
Suddenly, I was outside of a record shop in my hometown. I kicked the door, it opened, the alarm went off, I entered a simple code (1,2,3,0) on a small panel to my right, the beeping stopped, shut the door, briefly walked around, looked at albums (only recognized a Bauhaus one, everything else was classic rock), and checked that my shoes didn't leave any tracking. The store was small with dark brown wood panel and an upstairs I didn't venture into. Satisfied for breaking in so easily, I went to leave when a man appeared at the door. He was the owner and he was shocked.
Then, I found myself in a small dim wood panel room talking to the owner and my lawyer. As much as the owner complained how wrong it was of me to get in, my lawyer kept saying, "You have no case. She did it as a test, to see if she could get in. There was no malicious intent. She didn't break anything. The code was easy and she was leaving the store as it was."
Dec. 9 6:02 AM
It seemed like forever to wake up and when I did, wanted to call T to see if he could keep me company so I could sleep but I opted to sleep with the light on, alone.
It seemed futuristic; parts of Chicago were built way above ground, like mini-cities with their own parks and streets but many stories up, at varying heights so you could view mid and upwards of Sears Tower at eye-level. All the structures looked decrepit and grey - pleasing, actually. We (various people) were outside noticing the dark sky with an almost day-glo horizon when loud cracks hit. A bolt struck the top of the Sears Tower resulting in a gigantic explosion. More cracks, more bolts in various places and parts of the city became puffs of smoke. A bolt struck a building connected to our above city's foundation and the building started to crumble along with our foundation. We ran around in mayhem trying to find a safer, lower area.
Suddenly, I was on my real-life bed with one friend laying on on it, another friend sitting, motionless, and the friend laying down said, "You're gonna get wet." I woke up, realized I was about to get my period, went to the bathroom, came back and slept.
Tuesday, September 03, 2002
Myself and others lived in a ranch-style house next to a friend's band... in some touristy coastal haven. I heard my friend's brother (he doesn't have one) was in town so I left him a message at the studio to see if he wanted to hang out. There were a bunch of fans outside so I put up some barriers so my driveway would be freed up. Then they left. I walked around to some picnic area, saw T, he waved me over, gave me a big hug and wooo-eeee, he was drunk! There was an obese lady at the other table and for some reason, I could feel her fat flesh on the other side of me when he hugged me. T said a bunch of nice things, kissing my hand and I kept saying, "Okay.. uh, calm down... okay... you're wasted!" We were stepping into my house when someone in the (non-dream) other room turned on cartoons and I awoke. Then I spent the next three hours trying to get back to sleep.
Friday, August 16, 2002
I guess it was a "Malcolm X" movie (mildly) inspired dream (saw most of the movie a couple of weeks ago) as it dealt with Denzel Washington growing up pretty quickly and race issues were lightly involved. But for some reason, our (Denzel, his family, myself and friends) environment was limited to the constraints of a Target store.
I witnessed Denzel grow from a young boy to a teen while everybody else didn't age and his family - Black Panthers in Michael Jackson's "Thriller" kind of clothing - seeming a bit threatened by him hanging out with us crackers - wearing '50s outfits!
At the end of the dream, I found myself on the toilet, patiently waiting to go. I turned to my right, reaching with both hands to the toilet paper dispenser and instead, was pulling on a very long, round (2 inch circumference), light-whipped-consistency brown turd. (insert thought bubble) "Is this supposed to be coming out of me?!?"
As a Kid: The Michigan Employment Security Commission building in my hometown was turned into a roller rink and the backroom was a huge factory of white space, conveyor belts and gears. My dad would entice the kids into the room, blindfold them, put them on the conveyor belts and turn them into zombies... either that or grind them up. I was trying to stop him but never succeeded. I did attempt to inform him of this when I awoke but he finished my story, "I was grinding kids up?" How did he know... ?
Norman Bates from "Psycho" used to chase me around my neighborhood at night but all the homes were kind of tall, skinny, and painted in various stripes. A mother, son and daughter would offer to help but their nightgowns and hats were in stripes and they would start giving me an evil laugh and I knew I had to run away from them, too.